You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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