can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There's even glitter on my cock...
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