I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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