i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my being single is dangerous.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
