i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
