I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
