But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
