I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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