some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
