is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
