We got so high we made milksteak
Are my feet made of real feet?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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