There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
