do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
