It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
