dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
