After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize