It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
