she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
