I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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