so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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