Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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