Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
