I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
