Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize