I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
