if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
