found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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