Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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