Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
