when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
