i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
