what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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