just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
