I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
