The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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