Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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