no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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