I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
