can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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