She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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