fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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