i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
