does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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