is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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