Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
