I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
