I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
