he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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