You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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