WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
