I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
