do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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