I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Do vagina's smell?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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