so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
