can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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