I showed him my bush... on skype.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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