You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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