remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
