I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
