It's like God shit irony all over that family
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
