I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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