we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
