hell yes lets make some ravioli
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
