Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
